Friday, August 01, 2003

I was at the Suncoast Casino buffet for lunch, and on my way back to my table, I had to push past a big (read: fat) guy waiting at the dessert counter eating a plate of fried shrimp he was holding. While he was standing at the dessert counter waiting to be served his dessert. So, two thoughts: One: They have tables for that; get out of my way. Two: Take a break, man! Geez!

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Got this in my email today:

Why did the chicken cross the road to Baghdad?

GEORGE W. BUSH "We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here."

COLIN POWELL "Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road."

HANS BLIX "We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road."

SADDAM HUSSEIN "This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it."

BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

RUSH LIMBAUGH "I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take?

JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." The liberal media hides that fact from you.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone.

DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!


MARIA MONTESSORI The chicken was responding to a directive from its inner psychic being which manifested itself in this spontaneous, independent action. What is marvelous is that it crossed the road again and again, with no prodding or urging from anyone but its own inner voice. ("Help me to cross the road by myself!")
Yahoo! News - Vatican Slams Moves to Legalize Same-Sex Marriage

Which would have some meaning and carry some weight in a universe where the world was ruled by, you know, the Pope...

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Damn. Just read an email from Warren Ellis where he says that Spooks chokes in its second season. Which is a shame, because I've really been enjoying the first season.

On the other hand, Mr Ellis and I have disagreed on what makes for enjoyable TV many times in the past, so I'm not really going to worry about it...
USA NETWORK | The Foreigner

Steven Segal's new action movie premiering as a USA Original? About damn time he found his own level...
Yahoo! News - Bush Sees New Al Qaeda Threat, Democrats Critical

"Oh, geez, has my approval rating dipped a precipitous amount? Did I just come out in public against gays? Are even the dullest members of the public starting to wonder about this whole 'weapons of mass destruction' thing, and why so many American soldiers continue to die in a war I declared over months ago? Oh... I... Oh... shit... I... Oh, look over there! Terrorists! Really!"
Yahoo! News - Bush Rejects Calls to Legalize Gay Marriage
That's okay. I reject expensive, unjustified, unpopular, poorly-planned wars. I reject politicians who lie to the American people. I reject legislation designed to rape and pillage our natural resources in the name of making the rich industrial cronies of Our President richer at the expense of our children's futures. I reject the notion of tax cuts for the rich while schools are digging under the couch cushions for spare change to buy books for their students. And I reject a president who insists on putting his own religious beliefs over the basic freedoms from religious oppression that this country was founded on.

Ordinarily, I pretty much reject the whole Judeo-Christian mythos thing, because dickweeds like this fucking hand puppet believe in it so ferverently, they give it a bad name. But sometimes, I really, really hope that it turns out that there is one big God, one Heaven, and one Hell, and that their God is really, really pissed that all these self-righteous, "Oh, I completely support everyone's freedom to believe whatever they want, as long as it's my way!" mother fuckers have taken Her word and gotten it completely wrong. And I hope there really is a Hell, so that all these folks can find themselves slow-roasting over an eternal barbecue pit with roasting spits shoved up their arses.