Thursday, July 31, 2003

Got this in my email today:

Why did the chicken cross the road to Baghdad?

GEORGE W. BUSH "We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here."

COLIN POWELL "Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road."

HANS BLIX "We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road."

SADDAM HUSSEIN "This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it."

BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

RUSH LIMBAUGH "I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take?

JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." The liberal media hides that fact from you.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone.

DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

COLONEL SANDERS I missed one?

MARIA MONTESSORI The chicken was responding to a directive from its inner psychic being which manifested itself in this spontaneous, independent action. What is marvelous is that it crossed the road again and again, with no prodding or urging from anyone but its own inner voice. ("Help me to cross the road by myself!")

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