Call off the search! Apparently, the world's funniest joke has been discovered, and here it is:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"

According to this story, a Christian conservative organization is all up in arms because Lifetime Television ran an ad for Applebee's during a show called "Gay Weddings." Please. Like this is anywhere near as upsetting as the Jimmy-Olsen-coming-out-of-the-closet thing mentioned last week. Like anyone really cares about where Applebee's commercials show up. I mean, isn't Applebee's the restaurant people go to when TGI Friday's and Chili's are just too fancy for them? (This venom comes from a really atrocious meal I had at an Applebee's one night, right before I took the GRE.)

And, of course, Applebee's is desperately backpedalling, insisting that they had requested that their ad not run during "controversial shows" like "Gay Weddings." Because, of course, if they advertise during a show like "Gay Weddings," well, the next thing you know, gay people might start coming to Applebee's, and all the nice, good, pure, Christian, Focused-on-the-Family folks might get gay cooties, or whatever the heck it is they're afraid of. And it's possible that if people of all sorts of different beliefs--sexual, religious, whatever--started associating with each other, it might just lead to some sort of horrible understanding of one another, which might consequently lead to hightened awareness and sympathy for the diversity and complexity of life, which would just be awful. Because, after all, if people start thinking that the world isn't just black and white, but a million shades of gray--or, even better, an explosion of an infinity of colors--then they might start realizing things like how maybe, just maybe, there's more to consider about stuff like going to war with Iraq beyond simple rhetoric like, "This country is determined to disarm Iraq and thereby bring peace to the world." And that just opens a whole new can of worms.

And, no, I'm not saying that this Applebee's thing is tied into the war-drum-thumping at all. But willful ignorance is a bad thing, in whatever form it takes, and I'm getting sick and tired of seeing people use it to gain the upper hand.

Something positive: To help our library promote Teen Read Week (the theme of which is Get Graphic @ Your Library), Dark Horse Comics sent us a bunch of posters and buttons.

First, a note about TV reviews: I won't write them. Same goes for movies, comics, books, music, whatever. There are plenty of sources for "thumbs up/thumbs down" sorts of reviews, and I'm sure there's at least one out there that has something interesting or insightful to say. As far as I'm concerned, it's okay to like something despite its flaws (this is pretty much the basis of most relationships), and that's what I'll write about. It doesn't matter so much to me whether or not The Tuxedo was a good movie (which it wasn't); what matters is whether or not I had a good time watching it (which I did). So, with that said, here's my comments about last night's TV:

I have fond childhood memories about Sunday night television. I remember the whole family gathering around to watch The Muppet Show and The Wonderful World of Disney. In recent years, much has been made about cable TV (particularly HBO) dominating Sunday night television. Well, as much as I love The Sopranos, it's not the only thing on Sunday nights any more, and in even more recent years, I've actually found myself watching more network shows on Sundays. And now I'm adding two new ones to the list: American Dreams and Boomtown.

A confession: I'm a sucker for sixties pop music. (Not sure how my friends who work at the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame will react to that, but there you go.) So the idea of American Dreams, a family drama set in the sixties, revolving at least partially around American Bandstand and produced by Dick Clark had some obvious initial appeal. Plus, I needed something to fill the emotional void left by the shameful cancellation of State of Grace. Heck, American Dreams even stars Tom Verica, who had a recurring role on State of Grace. And, the good news is, I liked it. Not a perfect show--the father was painted a little too broadly as a complete jerk, for example--but the characters were likeable and believable. There's enough timeless family drama to keep it relevant, but enough historical detail to keep things interesting. I was caught off guard when the family's oldest son gave a typically heartfelt speech to his priest/Catholic high school football coach about how he doesn't want to play football any more because he no longer finds it enjoyable or fulfilling, only to have the priest tell him to get his head together, that it doesn't matter what he feels, just that he has a duty to his family, his school, and his parish. A few minutes later, we see the father of the family, who has spent most of the show throwing his authority around, lamenting that his family is unhappy even though he has achieved almost everything he ever dreamed of. Why, he wonders, isn't that enough for them? These are the sorts of things that wouldn't play in a contemporary drama, but in a historical context, when the world was a lot more comfortable pretending that a woman's place was in the home, and her husband was the king of his castle, it works. And, of course, there's the music. And next week: Michelle Branch!

For a show being touted as one of the most impressive new series, I was less impressed than I expected to be with Boomtown (although I loved the opening credits). The gimmick is that they show the investigation of a crime--or whatever the week's story might be, I guess--from the perspectives of a bunch of different characters: beat cops, detectives, a paramedic, a DA, and a reporter. I like the diversity of roles the characters represent, and I liked watching the pieces come together, instead of seeing the story unfold in a straightforward, linear fashion. And it's a good cast. But the actual story was nothing spectacular, and there was one scene in particular (a cop, played by the usually fantastic Gary Basaraba, runs into an old woman in the middle of a police chase, and the dialogue exchange is just embarrassing) that really turned me off. And although the show started off with a soliliquy about the Los Angeles River, it didn't have the same sense of LA-place-ness as Robbery Homicide Division on Friday. Nevertheless, I'll be back next week.

And, of course, sandwiched between these two new shows came the season premiere of Alias. If I refuse to offer an objective review of anything, that goes double for this show. I love it so. It's the only TV show I turn the phone ringer off during. It's a great action show, and it's a fantastic family drama, and everyone in the world should watch it and love it. 'Nuff said.

From the fanboy/geek department: It seems that one of my favorite comics from my childhood, The New Teen Titans, is being Cartoon Network, home of the excellent Justice League cartoon, as well as the unwatchable He-Man and the Masters of the Universe and Transformers revivals. Only they're going to set it in the future and make it more of a science fiction story. And, of course, die-hard fans are already complaining. Hey, maybe there'll be a petition...

And then there's the Roomba Intelligent Sweeper Vac... As it happens, I have to vacuum today. And I'm sure the cat would get a huge kick out of it, considering how terrified she is of the regular vacuum...

I didn't think anything could top yesterday's story about the cheerleader-lawsuit mom. (That's not entirely true; what I didn't think was that I'd accidentally stumble across anything better.) But here it is, from Warren Ellis's blog at http://www.diepunyhumans.com/: Woman sues God!.

From the "this is why I'm a librarian" department: Everyone knows that every piece of information in the known universe can be found on the Internet using Google. As it happens, I work part-time for a local community college at their reference desk, which is located in the computer lab, which is in a separate building from the college library, because the college administration apparently believes that more students will be doing research online than at the library. Which is probably true. Which is why it's nice to read things like this, because it justifies my existence.

Okay, I was going to steer clear of the politics today and just talk about TV. But then I read this, and I can't help thinking that if this new sort of war (against, well, whoever) is going to be won through intelligence and information, we are so completely screwed it isn't even funny any more.

On the lighter side, I received this in my e-mail this morning from a friend:

"Well, just a little something that a friend passed on to me. It was somewhat entertaining, though I suggest you make sure to turn down the sound if you're at work...

http://www.rathergood.com/punk_kittens/"

Now, I'm not saying I advocate any sort of political stance or anything like that. Because heaven forbid anyone should have an actual informed opinion when they could wave a flag instead. But if we're beating the war drums, shouldn't we be considering points like these?

So, once again, we see that the American answer to not getting your way is to sue somebody. On one level, I'm sickened, but on another, I'm trying to see the glass as half full. Maybe my new pick-up line should be, "Go out with me, or I'll sue you."

Watched the premiere of Robbery Homicide Division last night. Yeah, I know, like I need another cop show to watch, but this one is executive-produced by Michael Mann, and it stars Tom Sizemore, plus it got good advance notices in Entertainment Weekly and TV Guide, although neither of them seem to be putting those reviews online. I did come across negative reviews in the NY Post, which found the show "confusing" (I'm no rocket scientist, and I had no trouble following the story...) and hated the violence (Hello? It's a crime show?) and the Miami Herald, who paid so much attention to the show, they couldn't get the creator credits right (Mann executive-produces the show, but Barry Schindel is credited as creator). So take that for what it's worth.

Me? I liked it. I thought it was stylish and entertaining, with an involving story. The dialogue sounded like real people talking, and it was nice to see a cast reflecting the ethnic diversity of Los Angeles. I'll check it out next week.

It also got me thinking--again--about the difference in feel between cop stories set in New York (or other East Coast cities) versus Los Angeles (or other Western cities, like Vegas). I had similar thoughts while reading Stephen J. Cannell's first Shane Scully novel, The Tin Collectors. When done right, there's a definite feel that the regions have, and it's nice seeing a cop/detective show set in LA, especially produced by the writer/director of perhaps the greatest LA crime movie in recent history, Heat. The New York cop shows are fine, but there's a certain claustrophobic, old-world feel they have by virtue of being set in an older, more congested/urbanized part of the country. The LA stories have a more sprawling feel, and I think there's a certain energy that comes from being set in a place where most things are less than a hundred years old. I need to figure out how to articulate this better, but I like that Robbery Homicide Division actually communicates LA as a sense of place, rather than just being a cop show set in LA because films and television are made in LA, and therefore set in LA by convenience. (Used to be everything was set in LA, and now that's a rarity, isn't it?) The only other show currently on that I can think of that treats LA like a distinct place is Angel, and that show does it in a manner reminiscent of Raymond Chandler. Only with demons.)

Anyone still laboring under the impression that comics are just simple stories for little kids should probably check this out. (They should probably also be reading Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, plus a slew of other pretty literate comics, but that goes without saying.)

This is something you just don't see in the big cities: a town's own personal superhero.

I saw The Tuxedo today, the new Jackie Chan movie. Does it make sense if I say it wasn't particularly good, but I still enjoyed it? The characters were shallow, the tone of the bad-guy stuff was way too serious, it felt like huge chunks had been edited out, or nobody every bothered to fill in the holes in the first place, and there were some sequences (*cough* James Brown cameo *cough*) that felt shoehorned in from another, even worse, movie. And there wasn't as much action as there could have been, making this film more like Gorgeous than Project A. But, unlike a lot of American action heroes, Chan has the charm and chops to carry off a relatively actionless action movie, and Jennifer Love Hewitt was fun, too. Yes, certainly mostly eye-candy, particularly at first. But, as the movie wore on, I found myself smiling at her bitchy, snippy lines, which didn't come off like the usual tough grrl crap that we see in movies like, say, Ballistic. And while the main villain was pretty humorless, Peter Stormare's mad scientist character was more in line with the general tone of the piece.

So, bottom line: Not anywhere near as good as Shanghai Noon, and too weird to have the mainstream appeal of the Rush Hour movies. And HK purists are going to hate it just on principle, even though Chan has said he knows he can't keep making the kinds of movies he used to make. But I had fun.

And I heard the Madonna for the new James Bond movie, Die Another Day on the radio tonight. Not spectacular, but it'll probably sound just fine playing over a bunch of images of nekkid chicks.

When I went out for dinner tonight, I passed by the newly-opened Cheesecake Factory store. Apparently, there is absolutely no other place to get cheesecake in Las Vegas, so everyone in the city had to come to this cookie-cutter chain restaurant. Either that, or they were giving away free samples, plus drinks. (I shouldn't make fun of the folks flocking to the franchise food store, since I was getting dinner at Jason's Deli. And, now that I look at their menu, apparently Cheesecake Factory serves a great deal more than Cheesecake. However, can it really be line-of-at-least-thirty-people-out-the-door great?)

Okay, I must confess, I just read the online petition protesting the Superman movie. (I wasn't even really curious; I was just testing the links for my last blog entry.) They list a series of problems they have with the script, and the number one problem, the very first one they have listed, is that, in the script, Jimmy Olsen is apparently gay. Not only did someone think that this Superman script is an important enough issue to circulate a petition about, but the first reason they want people to read, the deviation from established Superman history that they want to point out before anything else, is that Jimmy Olsen is not gay. Because, apparently, for these people who are so concerned that Superman be translated faithfully to the big screen, for these people for whom this is an important enough to rally the world behind, one of the key, defining factors of the Superman concept is Jimmy Olsen's frelling heterosexuality. God.

And, so far, over 6000 people have "signed" this.

Earlier this week, a friend pointed me to an alleged review of Alias creator JJ Abrams' script for the upcoming, yet to be made, new Superman movie. Friday, he points me in the direction of an online petition to prevent the script from being filmed. At this point, I e-mailed him that I was declaring a moritorium on information about the Superman movie. Not just from him; if I happen to come across a news item about the movie during my too-frequent daily web crawls, I'll skip right over it. Because if I start paying attention now, I'm going to have to listen to somewhere in the neighborhood of eighteen months or so of whining, bleating, moaning, wailing, and gnashing of teeth about how Hollywood/Warner Bros/DC Comics/director Brett Ratner/JJ Abrams/producer Jon Peters/Criminal George W. Bush/Osama bin Laden/Kermit the Frog are responsible for trashing the great, brilliant, wonderful, fantastic, perfect American Icon that is Superman, and what a horrible, awful, miserable, evil crime against humanity it is that this movie should ever see the light of the inside of a darkened movie theater, yadda, yadda, yadda. As if this is the most important thing in a world where the Criminal Bush is stumping for a war nobody wants in order to bolster his political clout and wholeheartedly supporting the commercial rape of our national forests.

I mean, there's a petition, for God's sake. On the Internet. As if, first of all, anyone pays attention to those anyway. Say this petition collects a thousand "signatures," never mind that since they're electronic without any real verification anyway they might as well not count at all. Say a thousand real people actually sign it. Most movie theaters seat, what, three or four hundred people? So those signatures represent, what, the equivalent of three or so empty theaters around the world for one showing of the movie? Say each signature represents ten people. How many theaters are there in the country? We're probably talking about the equivalent of one or two unsold tickets at a fraction of the theaters around the country. And it bothers me on some level that there is this small but vocal group of people that would probably be willing to write their Congressman to stop production of this script before they'd protest Criminal Bush's Healthy Forest Initiative.

Too early to post anything new today, but I wanted to post a link to another friend's blog, High Dudgeon.

Welcome to my brand-new blog, written by a 30-something children's librarian living in Las Vegas, NV. I love comics, movies, TV, books, the internet, and complaining about stuff, and you'll read all about that and more right here. So welcome, and enjoy the ride!

I just finished watching the season premiere of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and it seems like we're off to a good start this year. The show is--amazingly, considering it's Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and it's really good--now entering its seventh season, and this episode serves to establish a new starting point, new characters, and new plots that will presumably run through the season. The main story is wrapped up--more or less--but there are plenty of questions left to be answered. I got a kick out of it, but I'm sure you won't have to look very hard to find people on the 'net already declaring this to be the worst season ever. Especially over at Ain't It Cool News, about which you'll hear more in the future.

In the meantime, check out my friend Jim's blog, Strange Interlude, and the San Francisco Chronicle's Daily Fix.

Enjoy!