Weekly World News - Story: "Weekly World News has always supported alternative candidates, including extraterrestrials, mutants, and dolphins. However, we believe that Hillary Clinton deserves reelection to the Senate over Nocturnal Party candidate Dracula.

Beyond the logistics of having a vampire in Congress -- he would miss every vote cast between dawn and sunset, and the intern mortality rate would rise --Dracula's mesmeric powers would make a mockery of the democratic process. While one could argue that this has already happened over the past seven years, there is a difference between bleeding people for oil and bleeding them period."